Sunday, May 31, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW
In writing in a past blog on "Where God Leads Me, I Will Follow", I did not know that He would soon put me to the test of those words. Yes, that does sound holy and good, very devoted to the Lord, doesn't it?
I voiced the words, "I don't know what I'm going to be doing when I get to Georgia. All I know is that God told me that the next level of my life could not be fulfilled in Decatur, IL." So with that in my spirt I obediently and willingly stepped out on faith.
However in my head I knew what I wanted to happen. God had always given me favor and I expected that favor to continue. When I arrived I expected to find a job quickly and really without much effort on my part and then begin getting in touch with promotors who could help professionally produce past theatre production. Keep in mind that this is what my little mind secretly thought since I didn't want to write another play for awhile since there are 2 scripts left that have never been in production.
I arrive in Savannah and God's favor does meet me here. He reveals some things to me as I wrote in my last blog post but he does not provide that job. Writing begins to consume my spirit but I eagerly push it away because I need a job! But in search of that job, I find that everyone is talking about how bad the economy is and companies are freezing hiring. Okay, that's not a problem because I am not depending on man, I am depending on God! However God is not providing that job, He is giving me instructions that I do not want to follow....I don't want to write, I want to find that job!
Well, I wasn't listening to God so He used a promotor to rely a message to me, "Create a buzz about your next play", she said. "Next play," I said to myself, "What next play, God hasn't given me another play to place in production." Oh but He had placed in my spirit to write another one! HE HAD GOTTEN MY ATTENTION! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Though it took me a minute or five.... to unstubborn and redirect my mind, God revealed 4 plays to write. I was obedient and out birthed so far 2 plays(Fervent Truths and Pains & Mirror Mirror, Unequally Yoked) and working on a third (Brothas' & Sistas') with a fourth forthcoming (A Love Story). I love the Lord for checking my disobedience for it has inspired a deeper trust in Him.
I voiced the words, "I don't know what I'm going to be doing when I get to Georgia. All I know is that God told me that the next level of my life could not be fulfilled in Decatur, IL." So with that in my spirt I obediently and willingly stepped out on faith.
However in my head I knew what I wanted to happen. God had always given me favor and I expected that favor to continue. When I arrived I expected to find a job quickly and really without much effort on my part and then begin getting in touch with promotors who could help professionally produce past theatre production. Keep in mind that this is what my little mind secretly thought since I didn't want to write another play for awhile since there are 2 scripts left that have never been in production.
I arrive in Savannah and God's favor does meet me here. He reveals some things to me as I wrote in my last blog post but he does not provide that job. Writing begins to consume my spirit but I eagerly push it away because I need a job! But in search of that job, I find that everyone is talking about how bad the economy is and companies are freezing hiring. Okay, that's not a problem because I am not depending on man, I am depending on God! However God is not providing that job, He is giving me instructions that I do not want to follow....I don't want to write, I want to find that job!
Well, I wasn't listening to God so He used a promotor to rely a message to me, "Create a buzz about your next play", she said. "Next play," I said to myself, "What next play, God hasn't given me another play to place in production." Oh but He had placed in my spirit to write another one! HE HAD GOTTEN MY ATTENTION! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Though it took me a minute or five.... to unstubborn and redirect my mind, God revealed 4 plays to write. I was obedient and out birthed so far 2 plays(Fervent Truths and Pains & Mirror Mirror, Unequally Yoked) and working on a third (Brothas' & Sistas') with a fourth forthcoming (A Love Story). I love the Lord for checking my disobedience for it has inspired a deeper trust in Him.
It is a highly elevated level of faith to totally depend on God and a growing process but the journey in that dependency will prove tried and true who you serve; God or yourself. God is waiting on us to stop planning our steps for Him. Yes, I know that job is coming forth but in all my searching I will not find it until God releases it therefore while I wait...I need to be diligent in hearing His voice and directions.
God releases His Blessings on the just and unjust.... Enlighten me!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
STEPPING FORWARD TO LOOK BACK AT SELF…
You know sometimes, you don't/can't see for being right in the middle of things so you have to be moved so you can see. Now that God has moved me from being in the middle...I see things about myself and others but I want to focus on what I see about me that has "retarded" my destiny! My Fears are no. 1!
You may say, fear, fear of what? What is Velma afraid of? Rejection! WHAT! You might say... you see, what I didn't know/realize is that we as humans are rejected and reject all the time but we don't look at it like that. When we see, hear, taste something that we do/don't like, our response is to accept or reject it WITH OUR REACTION.
In our response, we SHOULD then try to understand why we feel that way? BUT USUALLY WE just go with the emotionally response? Come on, most often we go with the emotional response!
Okay, that's where I have been. I have allowed my emotional responses to the fear of rejection to prevent me from selling myself as a writer and business woman with a wealth of info which God has taught me. Example: My son became irritated with me the other day because he said, "I think you act just like Noah (his 6 yr. old son) sometimes, mom, you know the answer but you pretend you don't know. That's where Noah gets it from." You know he's right! I now do that a lot of times....but wait...it has not always been that way. I once pride myself in knowing, I read a lot, and could talk on various subject matters. I have had people become upset with my knowledge and discern of things/people but even when I tell that 90% of it is God, 5% RCC education, 5% me, some people appeared intimidated and stepped back, especially the people of God. My intent was just to be of help but instead of accepting it for what it was... I became less communicating and associating. Also there were things in regard to my appearance that I constantly struggled with and they are issues that can be modified. So instead of accepting those issues and working on their modification, I didn’t face them. Even with biblical issues, I was told I researched and studied too deep. As a writer, I get a high off of research and meaning of words. I need that type of stimulation! After awhile, that stimulation became not as important as it used to be for me. WHY? I became more and more surrounded by people who really had no interest in what interested me...
What has God shown me? I had REALLY been attempting to please those intimidated people and just didn't want to deal with the issues and living in that "DENIAL" was DESPERATELY SPIRITUALLY & NATURALLY DRAINING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, Detective George, you may say, what does that have to do with your fear of rejection (You had to be at the last play to know what I'm talking about)?
First you need to really understand what FEAR is..."Facing Everything; Accepting Reality". Therefore until I face everything about me; the insecurities of the likes and dislikes and accept it, accept me for whom God created me to be, I'll never be able to walk completely in “Faith.” God is healing those FEARS (FACING EVERYTHING; ACCEPTING REALITY (insecurities)) and preparing me so I can do what He needs me to do. THIS IS THE YEAR OF POSSIBILITIES!!!!!!!!!!!! AND my GOD IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS DEPERATELY SPIRITUALLY & NATURALLY DRAINING YOU? CLICK ON THIS LINK AND ENLIGHTEN ME…
You may say, fear, fear of what? What is Velma afraid of? Rejection! WHAT! You might say... you see, what I didn't know/realize is that we as humans are rejected and reject all the time but we don't look at it like that. When we see, hear, taste something that we do/don't like, our response is to accept or reject it WITH OUR REACTION.
In our response, we SHOULD then try to understand why we feel that way? BUT USUALLY WE just go with the emotionally response? Come on, most often we go with the emotional response!
Okay, that's where I have been. I have allowed my emotional responses to the fear of rejection to prevent me from selling myself as a writer and business woman with a wealth of info which God has taught me. Example: My son became irritated with me the other day because he said, "I think you act just like Noah (his 6 yr. old son) sometimes, mom, you know the answer but you pretend you don't know. That's where Noah gets it from." You know he's right! I now do that a lot of times....but wait...it has not always been that way. I once pride myself in knowing, I read a lot, and could talk on various subject matters. I have had people become upset with my knowledge and discern of things/people but even when I tell that 90% of it is God, 5% RCC education, 5% me, some people appeared intimidated and stepped back, especially the people of God. My intent was just to be of help but instead of accepting it for what it was... I became less communicating and associating. Also there were things in regard to my appearance that I constantly struggled with and they are issues that can be modified. So instead of accepting those issues and working on their modification, I didn’t face them. Even with biblical issues, I was told I researched and studied too deep. As a writer, I get a high off of research and meaning of words. I need that type of stimulation! After awhile, that stimulation became not as important as it used to be for me. WHY? I became more and more surrounded by people who really had no interest in what interested me...
What has God shown me? I had REALLY been attempting to please those intimidated people and just didn't want to deal with the issues and living in that "DENIAL" was DESPERATELY SPIRITUALLY & NATURALLY DRAINING ME!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, Detective George, you may say, what does that have to do with your fear of rejection (You had to be at the last play to know what I'm talking about)?
First you need to really understand what FEAR is..."Facing Everything; Accepting Reality". Therefore until I face everything about me; the insecurities of the likes and dislikes and accept it, accept me for whom God created me to be, I'll never be able to walk completely in “Faith.” God is healing those FEARS (FACING EVERYTHING; ACCEPTING REALITY (insecurities)) and preparing me so I can do what He needs me to do. THIS IS THE YEAR OF POSSIBILITIES!!!!!!!!!!!! AND my GOD IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS DEPERATELY SPIRITUALLY & NATURALLY DRAINING YOU? CLICK ON THIS LINK AND ENLIGHTEN ME…
Saturday, January 17, 2009
WHERE GOD LEADS ME, I WILL FOLLOW
That statement sound good and holy. But do we really know the power behind it? The committment it takes to walk in it? If we knew what God had for us ahead of time, would we go anyway? The following is lyrics to a hymn...
"If God leads you to walk
A way that you know,
It will not benefit you as much as
If He would lead you to take the way
That you do not know.
This forces you to have
Hundreds and thousands of
Conversations with Him,
Resulting in a journey that is an
Everlasting memorial
Between you and Him."
Are we not willing to suffer for Him, are we not willing to do what we don't want to do (deny self)? What stops us from stepping out on faith and walking the path God leads... Mt 10:38 "And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me." Enlighten me!
"If God leads you to walk
A way that you know,
It will not benefit you as much as
If He would lead you to take the way
That you do not know.
This forces you to have
Hundreds and thousands of
Conversations with Him,
Resulting in a journey that is an
Everlasting memorial
Between you and Him."
Are we not willing to suffer for Him, are we not willing to do what we don't want to do (deny self)? What stops us from stepping out on faith and walking the path God leads... Mt 10:38 "And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me." Enlighten me!
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